Today is my dog's last day on earth. Tomorrow morning we'll take her to the vet to be put down. I've been anticipating this for about six months and I tried my best to mentally prepare for this but I'm not ready. I've had her since I was thirteen and she's thirteen now. She had four seizures just today and J and I both agree that it's time to let her go.
I wish losing a friend didn't need to be this hard but life isn't easy. Luckily the hurt in my heart doesn't feel like depression at all so that's good, I'm really hoping I can avoid slipping into depression because that would make the grieving process a lot easier.
I'm looking at her sleeping on her pillow and my eyes are filling with tears. It feels like someone tied a cinderblock to my heart and dropped it. She's miserable and although she's on painkillers I can still tell she's in pain. I can't be selfish and keep her here longer. I can't be selfish and let her go into the vet room to be put down all alone. I know I need to be brave to help her go to the other side in peace but I'm afraid I'll have a mental break afterward.
I'm going to ask L and N to help me find a good burial spot for her. I'm also going to invite them to help me decorate the box she'll be buried in so they can feel some peace too. I worry about L's well being because he seems to be more aware of the gravity of the situation than N is. I wish it was the 8th so all of this could be over, but that can't happen. This is something I'm going to have to go through and I'm praying I can find the strength to hold it together while she goes.
I love her so much and I wish she could live forever but we're going to love her enough to let her go. She's been such a great dog, she's been with me through everything, and I'm so grateful that she's been here with me for this long.
Chloe, I love you and I hope I can make your last day a great one. <3
I wish losing a friend didn't need to be this hard but life isn't easy. Luckily the hurt in my heart doesn't feel like depression at all so that's good, I'm really hoping I can avoid slipping into depression because that would make the grieving process a lot easier.
I'm looking at her sleeping on her pillow and my eyes are filling with tears. It feels like someone tied a cinderblock to my heart and dropped it. She's miserable and although she's on painkillers I can still tell she's in pain. I can't be selfish and keep her here longer. I can't be selfish and let her go into the vet room to be put down all alone. I know I need to be brave to help her go to the other side in peace but I'm afraid I'll have a mental break afterward.
I'm going to ask L and N to help me find a good burial spot for her. I'm also going to invite them to help me decorate the box she'll be buried in so they can feel some peace too. I worry about L's well being because he seems to be more aware of the gravity of the situation than N is. I wish it was the 8th so all of this could be over, but that can't happen. This is something I'm going to have to go through and I'm praying I can find the strength to hold it together while she goes.
I love her so much and I wish she could live forever but we're going to love her enough to let her go. She's been such a great dog, she's been with me through everything, and I'm so grateful that she's been here with me for this long.
Chloe, I love you and I hope I can make your last day a great one. <3
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