Today is a hard day.
I got my dog Chloe when I was thirteen. She was the teeniest puppy I'd ever seen; no bigger than a soda can. I have had her for her whole life and even though she's naturally kind of a brat, she's been a fantastic dog.
She's thirteen now and her health has been deteriorating for the last couple years. It started with a cough (turned out to be tracheal collapse), then her eyes got a little clouded and she started walking like she was sore. Her hearing lasted for quite a while but now we have to yell to get her to hear us when we're just a few feet away.
Last night she had her first seizure. She cried out in a way that I'd never heard. When I picked her up she was limp. I genuinely thought she was dead for a few seconds. I snuggled her until she was able to hold her head up again.
This morning she had her second seizure, about twelve hours after the first one. She acted exactly the same as she did last night. I called the vet not long after and I got an appointment for earlier today. When I went in I was told that she has a stage 4 heart murmur, a clicking sound in her lungs, severe arthritis, and now she's having seizures. They offered me a bunch of tests but J and I decided she's old enough. She doesn't need a bunch of invasive tests just to extend her life by maybe a year. I feel like if we did do that, it would be selfish on our parts. Pets get old and die. It's something I feel like too many people refuse to accept and then they let their dog get to a point where they have no quality of life left. I want to put Chloe down when she's enjoying life as much as possible.
She's in pain and I did get a prescription for painkillers. I'm going to give her some in the morning tomorrow.
I got back from the vet and started cleaning my house. Chloe came into the living room and was contorting and falling all over even though she tried a couple times to stay upright. Her body tensed and she rolled over her back which she hates to do when she has the choice. The vet told me to call her name to see if she'd respond during the episodes to determine if it was a nervous system misfire or a seizure. She didn't look at me at all when I called her so that confirmed the seizure diagnosis.
A little bit ago I fed her her dinner and immediately after finishing it she ran outside and puked all over. She ate some of it again but I know that when your dog has a hard time keeping food down that's not a good sign that they'll be here for a lot longer.
These will be her last few weeks with us. If she keeps seizing we'll put her down sooner. J and I told L and N about her condition and what's going to happen in the near future. We told them to spend a lot of time with her while she's still here and that they can give her as many treats as they want.
She's been a fantastic companion for me through the years. When I was dealing with the bullshit my parents did when I was younger she was there for me when I was sobbing in my room, feeling incredibly lonely. I will always remember her curling up her tiny body next to mine when I went to sleep as a teenager. She's been snotty at times, she used to pretend she couldn't hear you when she didn't want to go outside to go potty in the winter. She has turned picky in her old age and she doesn't eat half the people food scraps we've given her. I just hope that we can give her a lot of love in the coming days and that she can go in peace.
I got my dog Chloe when I was thirteen. She was the teeniest puppy I'd ever seen; no bigger than a soda can. I have had her for her whole life and even though she's naturally kind of a brat, she's been a fantastic dog.
She's thirteen now and her health has been deteriorating for the last couple years. It started with a cough (turned out to be tracheal collapse), then her eyes got a little clouded and she started walking like she was sore. Her hearing lasted for quite a while but now we have to yell to get her to hear us when we're just a few feet away.
Last night she had her first seizure. She cried out in a way that I'd never heard. When I picked her up she was limp. I genuinely thought she was dead for a few seconds. I snuggled her until she was able to hold her head up again.
This morning she had her second seizure, about twelve hours after the first one. She acted exactly the same as she did last night. I called the vet not long after and I got an appointment for earlier today. When I went in I was told that she has a stage 4 heart murmur, a clicking sound in her lungs, severe arthritis, and now she's having seizures. They offered me a bunch of tests but J and I decided she's old enough. She doesn't need a bunch of invasive tests just to extend her life by maybe a year. I feel like if we did do that, it would be selfish on our parts. Pets get old and die. It's something I feel like too many people refuse to accept and then they let their dog get to a point where they have no quality of life left. I want to put Chloe down when she's enjoying life as much as possible.
She's in pain and I did get a prescription for painkillers. I'm going to give her some in the morning tomorrow.
I got back from the vet and started cleaning my house. Chloe came into the living room and was contorting and falling all over even though she tried a couple times to stay upright. Her body tensed and she rolled over her back which she hates to do when she has the choice. The vet told me to call her name to see if she'd respond during the episodes to determine if it was a nervous system misfire or a seizure. She didn't look at me at all when I called her so that confirmed the seizure diagnosis.
A little bit ago I fed her her dinner and immediately after finishing it she ran outside and puked all over. She ate some of it again but I know that when your dog has a hard time keeping food down that's not a good sign that they'll be here for a lot longer.
These will be her last few weeks with us. If she keeps seizing we'll put her down sooner. J and I told L and N about her condition and what's going to happen in the near future. We told them to spend a lot of time with her while she's still here and that they can give her as many treats as they want.
She's been a fantastic companion for me through the years. When I was dealing with the bullshit my parents did when I was younger she was there for me when I was sobbing in my room, feeling incredibly lonely. I will always remember her curling up her tiny body next to mine when I went to sleep as a teenager. She's been snotty at times, she used to pretend she couldn't hear you when she didn't want to go outside to go potty in the winter. She has turned picky in her old age and she doesn't eat half the people food scraps we've given her. I just hope that we can give her a lot of love in the coming days and that she can go in peace.
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